Eccentric Dialogues
by Abdicated
Summary: A perverted Black Star, An accused to be a homosexual Soul and A Yaoi Fanboy Death the Kid don't make the best combination. Does it? Major OOCness! Conversation fic for the first 2 chapters. Story Will end at the 3rd chapter. ON HIATUS! I'm sorry!
1. The Pervert

**I always wanted to try out writing conversation fics. Sorry, SoulxBlackStar fangirls, not today :C This is not a yaoi nor yuri fic. I want to keep pairings as straight as possible. But I'm not desparate though. I have no Idea if I'm gonna add romance or not. Let's just see.**

**Anyways**

**Disclaimer: Soul Eater isn't mine.**

**---**

**Soul & Black Star**

"Black Star, did you even listen to what I've just said?"

"Uh, it was something about rootbeer, right?"

Facepalm

"Seriously Black Star, you really need to pay attention more."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm hungry."

"Wait, just gonna go get that cake from yesterday."

"Finally!"

"Yo, I'm ba--Hey, are you watching hentai on my computer?!"

"Uh, no I'm not?"

"Gross. Turn that off."

"No way! The exciting part is coming up!"

"Close it or I'll eat your cake."

"Hmph, fine."

Munch Munch Munch. Click Click Click.

"Ne, Soul, why did you re-open the hentai window?"

"For...educational purposes."

"Mhmm, So how does watching hentai relate to school work?"

"..."

"And you called me gross."

"Shut the fuck up. I bet you masturbate yourself everyday."

"I do not. Well, maybe occasionaly..."

"You are just disgusting. I don't even know why I became friends with you."

"You just can't stand my sexiness, Soul."

"Ew, I'm not gay."

"Says the guy who wears a headband."

Touche.

"Damnit."

"Haha, you got owned"

"Whatever."

"You still haven't closed the hentai window you know."

Click

"There, it's closed."

"Nice background pic."

"What are you--"

Soul stares at his computer.

"Now, tell me why your background picture is Maka wearing the skimpy bikini she wore to the beach last summer?"

"She forced me to do it."

"As if I'd believe that."

"What, like your laptop wallpaper isn't Tsubaki wearing the swimsuit she wore to the beach!"

"No, it's her completely naked in a hotspring."

"You are one sick man."

"I know. I've heard."

"Give me your cake, You're not finishing it."

"Sure, I'm too sexy to get fat."

"Just give me the damn cake."

"Fine, fine, jeez. Are you PMSing or something?"

"What made you think that?"

"Stuff."

"How perverted are you?!"

"It says in the facebook quiz that I'm '100% perverted' something like that."

"You have a facebook?"

"And you don't?! C'mon Soul, everyone has a facebook. Even the Kishin has one!"

"I swear, I think I am the only sane person alive."

"Thank you."

"You're very welcome."

"Hey, I want you to watch something."

"Is it one of those videos where the Exorcist pops up out of nowhere again?"

"Nope."

"What is it?"

"Guess."

"More hentai?"

"No, there's nothing good to watch today."

"What? I give up!"

"SoulMaka AMVs!"

"...."

They watched a 9 minute SoulMaka vid which the majority of the pictures contained mature content.

"You liked it, didn't cha?"

"Shut up, Black Star."

"SOUL AND MA-KA SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

"Say that one more time and I'll rip your crotch off."

"Do that and I'll make you shit bricks."

"You're gay."

"You have the hots for Maka."

"No I don't."

"Tsk. Tsk. Denial is an ugly thing, my friend."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Why is your face turning red?"

Ooh, busted.

"Damnit. I hate you."

"I love you too."

"Black Star, please, turn homosexual elsewhere please."

"I'm too sexy to go homosexual."

"You know what, just shut the fuck up. I've had enough of this sexy bullcrap, ya hear me!? Go home and go shit lemons, just get away from me you perverted shitface!"

"Cursing is unhealthy."

"Black Star, did you even listen to what I just said?"

"Uh, it was something about rootbeer, right?"

"Oh God.."

**---**

**So, I thought a little and came with a conclusion.**

**This is going to be a chaptered story. **

**I'll update as fast I can for you guys. 3**

**~KuroTamashi-x**

**OOH, A BUTTON! I WONDER WHAT THIS DOES!**

**Click to find out?**

**l**

**V**


	2. Kid The Yaoi Fan

**HUZZAH. 2ND CHAPTER! WOOT! 3rd and final chappie is ****not**** gonna be a conversation chap so It might take a while 'till my next update. I swear, once I uploaded this, I started on the third chapter right away!! LOL. Hope you guys like it.**

**Disclaimer: Soul Eater is not mine.**

**Soul & Death The Kid**

"Soul, please, may I have your permission to fix your hair?"

"No, I like it the way it is, thank you very much."

"But it's the most asymmetric thing I've ever seen! It MUST be destroyed."

"You're gonna shave my head?!"

"No, I'm just going to make it perfect.

"Getting your hair fixed by another person is not cool."

"Whatever, just let me fix it."

"No, Kid."

"And why so?"

"Symmetric hair is so uncool."

"Are you insulting the beauty of symmetry?!"

"Maybe I am."

"Why you--"

"Wait, I have a question to ask you."

"Proceed, I'm listening."

"What the hell are you doing in my apartment?!"

"Oh, Liz, Patti Tsubaki and Maka literally kicked me out of my own house. They accused me of eavesdropping while they're having their _'Girl Time' _and such."

"Yikes, your butt must hurt right now."

"Not really, being a shinigami and all..."

"Lucky Bastard."

"Not true. Before I enrolled in Shibusen, I almost got married to over 47 women. Father offered no, forced me to get partnered with women at the form of marriages. It took a while to convince father to think otherwise. And must I say, their breast sizes were...extreme."

"Aren't you happy about that?"

"Soul, do you _know_ how _asymmetric_ their weapon forms looked?!"

"Oh, my bad."

"I've been having nightmares ever since."

Kid goes into Fetal Position.

"I-I wish I was never born...."

"Hey Look, Symmetry!"

"WHERE!?"

"Gotcha."

"Damnit. Don't you dare fool me. Especially when it comes to symmmetry!"

"At least Black Star isn't here. Or else you would've probably died right now."

"True."

Right at that moment a brick crashed through the window and collided with Soul's head

"Ow! That friggin hurts!"

"There's a note attached to it."

_Soul, you don't have to talk_

_About my sexiness infront of Kid._

_I know you love me._

_-Black Star_

Kid burst in laughter. While Soul ripped the note into pieces.

"BLACK STAR YOU GAYLORD!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Stop laughing, Kid. It ain't that funny."

"S-soul..haha..You never told me that you and Black Star have..hahah..more than j-just a mutual relationship..hahahahaha!"

Cringe.

"Holy shit, dude. _What_ are you thinking?!"

It was about time Kid stopped his fit of laughter.

"So Soul, why didn't you tell me you were going steady with Black Star?"

"I'm what!?"

"Don't make me repeat myself."

"I am not gay! I would never have an intimate relationship with that psychotic narcissist for a friend!"

"Sure you won't."

"KID!"

"SOUL!"

"I'm gonna say it for the last time, Kid. None of us are gay."

"But this is the first time you've said it."

"Who cares!"

"Well, you do look like a girl with that headband."

"..."

"Yeah, Why did you replace your manly sweatband with a headband instead?"

"Because, I'd look cooler with a headband."

"No, you won't. You'll just look gay."

"Why is everyone telling me that I'm gay?! I'm 100% manly you people!"

"By everyone, you are only reffering to me and Black Star, right?"

"Wh-whatever."

"Oh, I'd love to see the day when you and Black Star will run in slow motion in a field of flowers towards eatchother, yelling eatchother's name. Then embracing while plunging into a deep kiss. Oh, how indulgent!"

"Ew, Keep your fantasies to yourself please."

"Then both of you are gonna go make-out and have se--"

"KEEP QUIET."

"Then you're gonna have a honeymoon and make tons of blue-haired symmetric babies and live happily ever after."

"The world is screwed. Enough said."

"Don't be so pessimistic, Be positive! Think about the symmetrical unicorns! The flowers! The rainbows! The free food samples!"

"Why the hell do I want to think about flying horses with corn on their head?"

"But it's not cor--"

"I know."

"Well, what do you find amusing hmm?"

"Hm, let me think. I have three. One, Not being called gay, Two, Not being called gay and Three NOT BEING CALLED GAY!"

"Then remove the headband."

"Never."

"Why? Do you want to be called gay for the rest of you life?"

"No."

"Then remove the fucking headband!"

"Never."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because?"

"Because your mother said you aren't precious enough."

"Stop trying to change the subject."

"Mff."

"Argh, I'll remove it myself."

"I said no!"

"Look here _Evans._ You know damn well how I love symmetry. And you know pretty fucking well that I result to violent actions if you don't obey. Either you remove the headband or I'll braid your hair. You decide."

"Fine."

Soul removed the headband and flipped his hair in slow motion. Kid watched in awe.

"Soul, save your handsomeness for your marriage with Black Star."

"The what now?"

"Nothing."

The phone suddenly rang. Soul groggily got up the couch and went to the phone which had 'Black Star' on the caller ID

"Hello?"

_"Girl, lookin' sexy there without your headband."_

He mashed the phone onto the reciever, nearly destroying it in the process and stomped off to the couch where Kid sat.

"See Soul? You're so handsome that even men are attracted to you!"

It was most likely that Kid had also heard the conversation.

"I. Am. Not. Gay."

"Sure you are."

"KID!"

"SOUL!"

"..."

"Can I make your hair symmetric now?"

"No!"

"Prepare to poop lemons then."

Kid grinned maliciously at Soul before pulling out a comb, a clip and lipgloss from his pockets.

"N-no, wait please.....Why do you have those in your pockets anyway?"

"That's not the point. You die now."

Oh, hell. Kid was gonna enjoy this.

The next morning, After Maka arrived from their 'Girl's Night Out' at Kid's house, She wondered why there was a ripe Lemon in the toilet. She didn't want to know either.

"Soul?"

"Yes, Maka?

"Why do you look like you just got out from a Woman's Salon?"

_**End of Chapter.**_

* * *

**Yuurgh. In my perspective, this chapter sucked.**

**Yeah, well, no flames please.**

**And don't forget to R&R!!**

_KuroTamashi-x_


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